The key to a healthy relationship, whether casual or long term, is sharing the same goals with a clear understanding between partners. For example, a partnership between two people is not going to work if one of them is in it for the long haul and the other is only interested in sex.
If both individuals agree that the connection is mostly based on sex, however, and that is probably not destined to become a prolonged thing, there is no reason to think that the partnership cannot be a wonderful one whilst it lasts. In other words, there is no right or wrong to modern relationships. If you are both on the same page, do what feels right for you.
Do We Share the Same Relationship Goals?
The problem then is how to find out whether you are indeed on the same page and whether your relationship goals are the same. It is going to lead to emotional heartache if you know that you are not looking for committed, but you allow a girl or a guy to believe that you are. If you know that you are unlikely to ever want to get married or have children, you should be honest about it, especially if your partner has very different life goals.
This is not to say that disparate relationship ‘agendas’ cannot come together to form something beautiful, only that compromise can be a difficult road. Of course, how tricky it is will depend entirely on the seriousness of the issue at hand, If we are talking kids and marriage here, it simply may not be possible to pursue a lifelong relationship with somebody who does not want the same things that you do. If we are talking about trying new things in the bedroom, there is a lot more room for compromise.
How Do I Take Things To The ‘Next Level?
If you are thinking about moving to the next stage of a relationship, be it sexual or commitments based, and you feel nervous about sharing these feelings with a partner, try to gauge their reaction for a few weeks by slipping the subject into conversation. If the issue is marriage or engagement, for instance, just casually bring up the fact that you know a friend who got married recently and is really happy.
If the issue is a sexual one, you could talk about an article or a TV shows that you have seen which broached the subject. The key here is to keep conversation light and casual and if it becomes patently clear that you do have a personal agenda, do not lie – be honest, frank, and admit to the reason why you brought the subject up in the first place. At this point, you should have gathered enough information to know what the reaction is likely to be.
Is There A Way To Satisfy Us Both?
This kind of discussion between two lovers or partners should never have to turn into an argument. You are sharing things about yourselves – there does not have to be blame, pressure, accusations, or deception. If you do not agree with what your partner says, tell them the truth, but do it gently. You are a human being with your own desires and love should never be about doing things that you are uncomfortable or unhappy with.